Tag Archives: humor

Likes (The Idea Of) Walking In The Rain

Dear Guy From The Computer Dating Service Who Keeps Messaging Me: You seem like a nice guy. It even says in your profile that you’re “mature,” which is not a claim many people can honestly make, so mad props to … Continue reading

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(“Don’t) Hold My Hand

We should have been doing this all along. Stuff comes through all the time, flu, stomach collywobblers, root rot. Wash your hands for at least 20 seconds. Two times through “Happy Birthday To You” will do it, but I feel … Continue reading

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Don’t Bet Against Gravity (or) The Graduation Speech

To The Class of 2021… And All The Ones To Follow Dear Future Old People: I am honored to speak to you, at the request of absolutely nobody. The sight of your shiny blue faces, illuminated by your phone screens, … Continue reading

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A Dog’s Guide To Humans: Piddle & Doody

You might want to go relieve yourself before you start reading this dispatch. Of all the things I’ve observed about humans, the most perplexing is their attitude toward their own bodies and natural processes. Honest to Dog, it’s confounding. I’ll … Continue reading

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A Dog’s Guide To Humans: Sleep

As with so many things, humans have a strange relationship with their own bodies (just wait until I get to humans and elimination. Oh my dog, that’s a whole subject in itself).  They are so uncomfortable in their own skins … Continue reading

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