Field Guide To Love Bead Safe Harbor Pins: The LGBTQI Pin

 

Because we’re all human and valuable.

A Field Guide To The Love Bead Safe Harbor Pin (kind of like a bird watcher’s guide to birds).

If you’re new to the Love Bead Safe Harbor Pin and you see one “in the wild,” on someone on the street, in a restaurant, at school, at work, or any of the places you might find cool people, you might wonder if there’s any significance to the color, or the charm hanging from the pin. The answer? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

The safety pin is what makes it a “safe harbor” pin. So no matter the color or decoration, it’s still a Safe Harbor Pin. The rest is about standing up for a special cause that is close to your heart. It doesn’t mean you don’t care about anything else, just that this particular cause is one you’re especially passionate about, or is especially relevant to your life, or in the lives of people you know.

A (very) simplified guide to the LGBTQI acronym.

The LGBTQI Rights Pin:

I’m such a fossil, I didn’t know what the “Q” and “I” were until a friend explained it to me (and I did a bit of research of my own). In case you don’t know, here’s a very basic breakdown of “LGBTQI:”

The most important thing to know about this issue:  It’s none of my (or your) business who neighbors/ coworkers/ random people we encounter conduct their sex lives.  If you find out someone is doing something illegal, call the cops. Otherwise, it falls under “ANOYB,” or “Ain’t None Of Your Business.” People have the right to conduct their lives as they see best, in safety, and be treated with respect, whether we understand or approve of their personal choices or not.

So wearing an LGBTQI pin doesn’t mean you approve of someone else’s life, because the point is, you don’t have to in order to believe that person deserves to be treated with respect, and his or her civil rights respected. Think of it as “radical good manners.”

This is the rainbow pin. The type and finish of the beads may vary, but the rainbow color pattern makes this pin an LGBTQI pin.

For me, the sex lives of other people fall under “things I don’t have to have an opinion about.” If I’m not being asked to participate or watch, it doesn’t concern me. So I really don’t have any opinion about whether people “should” or “should not” be, say, homosexual. “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” I’m too busy trying to get my own stuff straight. Other people are human and I respect their humanity and right to live without feeling threatened or abused, and I don’t need to suss their private lives because it’s not my job to judge the “worthiness” of my fellow human beings. I don’t have any “gay friends.” I have friends who are gay (or somewhere in the LGBTQI spectrum), but we don’t talk about their sex lives, or mine. It’s not relevant. It’s simply a fact about that person, about on the level of height and eye color.

You can wear the LGBTQI pin and be fully supportive of, indifferent to, or somewhere in between, on any of the many ways human beings experience or express their gender or sexuality. You can even feel uncomfortable with all of this and wear the pin. Wearing this pin says “I believe in the rights of human beings to be treated with respect,” and a recognition that those who don’t conform to what is expected based on the gender they “seem” to be face an uphill battle in this world, and can use allies.

The peace symbol charm on this pin signifies your feeling that people, regardless of what they look like or what they do with their personal lives, should be free to live in safety without fear of being attacked, bullied or discriminated against.

 

 

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Pin Tales: The Boy With The Hat

I’m 137 pins distributed into this project as of today. This means about 140 interactions with people so far, and as you might expect, those interactions vary widely. This project is about human interaction — how we choose to treat other people. I was telling my friend Janice about some of them, and she said, “You’re writing these down, aren’t you? It’s part of the project! You should be telling the stories that go with this.” So begins “Pin Tales.” These are the stories associated with this project, both the good and the bad. When you feel like a bit of light reading, join us on Tuesdays for the latest Pin Tale. First up:

The Boy With The Hat

Mark and I went to a theme park (we love theme parks). As we were leaving, we found staff lined up to wish everyone a good night (and probably to answer last-minute questions). I was passing by a young man (every year, more of the population is younger than I am. He was probably in his 20s). As I passed, we smiled, but then he looked at the Love Bead Safe Harbor Pin (let’s say “Love Beads”) I was wearing. He approached me, speaking softly.

“Do you know what it means to wear the safety pin?,” he asked. I said that yes, I did, it was a Safe Harbor Pin and that I’d made it. I always carry a few with me, so I offered him a set.  As he took it, he said, “You made this?”

“Yes,” I answered, “I make them and give them to people.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment. He just stared at the set of pins, lying in his palm on their little card. “People are getting harassed,” he said quietly. “I know people who’ve been bullied, and…” He looked up and made eye contact. “Is it all right if I hug you?”

As people who know me can tell you, I’m not big on physical contact with anyone I’m not close to, but I couldn’t say “no.” I nodded, and he hugged me quickly. “I can’t wear this while I’m working,” he told me, “but I will wear it. Thank you.” We said our goodbyes, and Mark and I headed for the Administration Office at the park (we had a quick errand there).

As we came out of the Admin Office, I heard my name. Looking around, I saw the young man jogging toward us, with something in his hand. “This is the hat I wear when I’m not at work,” he said, showing me a hat with his new Love Beads front-and-center. “I’m going to tell my friends,” he said, “that this came from someone I didn’t even know, who makes these and gives them away. I’ll tell them that we aren’t alone, that there are people we don’t even know who want us to be safe.”

“There are people hoping good things for you who don’t even know you,” I said.

“Can I hug you one more time?,” he asked. We hugged, said goodbye, and Mark and I left.

I’m a big ol’ introvert, so just talking to strangers is a stretch for me, but a very wise friend once said, “If it’s important to you, don’t wait until you feel like it, or feel up to it. Do it scared.”

When I started this project, I wasn’t even sure of the purpose of it myself. It was instinctive, divine inspiration, a need to react to the increasing negativity and hostility I was seeing and hearing. Soon, I realized that it’s about the potential in every human interaction. Every time we meet, or talk, we make a choice about who we are and how to treat other people. Friends can tell you there are no signs of incipient diety about me. No aura of sainthood. I fall short of my expectations on a daily basis, if not hourly (some days are like that). So this project reminds me of the potential in every moment.

With each interaction, I make a choice of how to approach or speak with someone, and he or she makes a choice about how to treat me. All the choices we make become who we are, in our own eyes, and in the eyes of others. We are largely who we decide to be.

In that moment, I decided to come out of my comfort zone, and so did The Boy With The Hat. We decided how to treat each other, and how to respond to how we were treated. In that moment, we both decided to cooperate to build something small and beautiful.

 

 

 

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A Field Guide To Love Bead Safe Harbor Pins: The Civil Rights & Social Justice Pin

Why this color? What does this charm mean?

A Field Guide To The Love Bead Safe Harbor Pin (kind of like a bird watcher’s guide to birds)

If you’re new to the Love Bead Safe Harbor Pin and you see one “in the wild,” on someone on the street, in a restaurant, at school, at work, or any of the places you might find cool people, you might wonder if there’s any significance to the color, or the charm hanging from the pin. The answer? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

The safety pin is what makes it a “safe harbor” pin. So no matter the color or decoration, it’s still a Safe Harbor Pin. The rest is about standing up for a special cause that is close to your heart. It doesn’t mean you don’t care about anything else, just that this particular cause is one you’re especially passionate about, or is especially relevant to your life, or in the lives of people you know. First up:

The Civil Rights and Social Justice Pin

Equality before the law and human rights.

This pin will be iridescent black (the individual beads shine with a lustrous finish like the colors of the rainbow, so in this case, a black bead that has a shiny finish that shifts in the light, like light playing on water). It looks kind of like very dark steel. The color signifies the strength and durability of steel, like the strength and durability people have to show fighting for freedom and justice. (I know, “Oooooh, deeeep!” But it’s true).

Mine have a peace symbol charm, or a heart. The peace symbol is a charm I use on most of my Love Bead Pins. In addition to the usual meaning of the peace symbol, on the Civil Rights Pin, the peace symbol also honors those who, like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi, use nonviolent means to fight for their causes. That is probably the hardest route to take, to not lower yourself to the level of those who oppose you and hold to your principles in the face of opposition or even danger.

 

 

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The Love Bead Safe Harbor Pin Project

The schedule for the 500 Safe Harbors pin event is coming together (more on that in a second). But just in case you’re new to the Safe Harbor movement…

Safe Harbor is an idea that came to us from Great Britain (as did scones, which are wonderful, and tea, also great). People started wearing plain safety pins to signal that they were safe to approach, wouldn’t harm or be abusive toward you… that they were “safe harbors” in the social sea. I started wearing one after friends reported they or people they knew had been abused or threatened. They signal your commitment to treating people with respect and courtesy.

Then reports started of white supremacists wearing plain safety pins. So I, and others, started decorating our pins, taking back the symbol. After quite a few conversations where I was asked to explain Safe Harbor, and ended up giving up the pin I was wearing, I began carrying a few in my purse wherever I went. If asked about my pin, I’d explain the idea of Safe Harbor and offer the person a pin. I put them on old business cards in little gift bags to tell the recipient “this is a gift, a bit of my time given to you.” Thus they became “love beads” as well, an idea that came out of the 60s, hand-beaded jewelry given to express friendship and good wishes.

On a vacation, we met a young man who asked if I understood the significance of wearing a safety pin. I told him I did, and had made that pin, and offered him one of his own. Later, he showed me the hat he wears when he’s off work, with my pin front and center. He asked to hug me and said he was going to tell his friends about this. I determined to make more pins and give them away, spreading the idea of Safe Harbor.

I made 100 pins and went out to give them away, no small task for an introvert. I was prepared for it to take hours, or even to come home with many of the pins. They were gone in 15 minutes.

Now, I’m getting ready to try to distribute 500 pins in one weekend. You never know how people will respond, so I’m mentally prepared to come home with some of the pins. Talking to at least 500 strangers in one weekend sounds like trying to climb Mt. Everest with one foot in a cast (did I mention I’m an introvert?), but it’s happening.  Here’s why:

At least 500 times, I’ll be spreading the idea of Safe Harbor. Tossing my pebble in the water and hoping some of the pebbles create ripples that spread. That people will consider, even if for a moment, that we have options in any interaction with others. We have the option of treating other people with respect and courtesy, even people we disagree with, or don’t like. If we don’t choose that option, it’s a choice to do whatever we do instead, because we could have chosen respect. People will have a choice of how to treat me, whether they accept the pin and hurry on, don’t accept the pin and hurry on, argue with me, talk to me, whatever. At least 500 times, I’ll be offering them an opportunity to stop for a moment and choose.

When I give pins away, I do not solicit, nor do I accept, donations. People can choose to go online and sponsor a set of pins to be given away (and get a set for themselves), but in person, it’s a gift, from me, or from me and the person sponsoring that set of pins, given and accepted freely. I don’t ask where the recipient is from, what their politics are, who they sleep with, or what they believe. I only ask if they would like a free Safe Harbor pin. This is an apolitical movement.

It’s simple, really. I’m advocating for what my mother would have called “simple decency and good manners.” She was a real fan of good manners.  As a work of art, it’s about choice, and consciousness. That we choose how we behave and react. Mom used to say that how you treat someone says a lot about who you are and who you want to be, far more than it says about the other person. This will be 500 little nudges, 500 opportunities for people to choose who they will be.

I’m doing my largest event yet in San Francisco to mark the 50th anniversary of the Summer of Love. Specifically, I’m honoring the people who came together to help the kids who arrived in San Francisco with no money, nowhere to sleep,  no support system. Crowds of them descended on San Francisco in 1967, and the city wasn’t prepared for an influx of unemployed, broke kids. So people in San Francisco organized food, clothing, health care, help finding shelter, etc. That, to me, is the real beauty of the Summer of Love.

Here’s the schedule so far. This event will be in San Francisco, CA on the weekend of June 2-4, 2017:

Friday, June 2, 1-2 pm : Haight Ashbury Free Clinic,  558 Clayton Street. Celebrating their 50th anniversary this year, they help many of the poorest San Franciscans. I’ll be out on the street for one hour, giving away pins. Feel free to stop by, get a pin and say hello!

Friday, June 2, 2:30-3:30 pm… meeting up with some tour groups on a Summer of Love tour. Wish I could say where, but the Parks Commission has asked that I not advertise. But if you see me, come on over!

Saturday, June 3, 10-11 am… oooh, another park appearance, can’t say where! Silly, I know, but those are the rules, so if you’re interested, check your favorite SF park and you might find me.

Saturday, June 3, 1-4 pm:  SCRAP, 801 Toland Avenue. The incredible recycler offering materials at low cost for artists and teachers. I’m teaching a class, open to the public, $20 including materials, on how to make Safe Harbor Love Bead pins. People who take the class will also get a set of pins from me, and if you’re at SCRAP while I’m there, hit me up for a set of pins. http://www.scrap-sf.org/workshops/

Sunday — this one is still being confirmed, but I’ll announce it as soon as it is.

If you know anyone in San Francisco, or who will be in the Bay Area that weekend, please let them know they can come to one of these events, get a set of Safe Harbor pins, and participate in a work of performance art!

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Beauty and Art and Junk

Mark said this morning, “I was just thinking about the difference between beauty and art. Art is deliberate. Beauty can happen without an artist. Art may not be beautiful, but there is thought involved.”  Conversations like this are part of why I love Mark.

Intent is at the core of art. For me, the main difference between art and crafts is communication. The artist is trying to express something (which implies an audience, and an attempt to communicate some idea). Crafts are created for the satisfaction of creating them, to make something useful, or pretty, or both, but they aren’t really trying to communicate ideas.

Which doesn’t make them less valuable. It gives me an itch when someone dismisses something as  crafting, not creating art. There is value in making useful and/or beautiful things, even if you have no deeper intention. And there is no particular medium that is by definition art or craft. Painting, quilting, jewelry, sculpture, film, etc. can be craft or art, and either is good.

So that’s what I’m meditating on today, perfect for a rainy Saturday.  I’m also turning internal handsprings. I saw our listing on the official San Francisco Travel Association website. There’s something about seeing it listed. There’s more to the class than the listing. I’ve decided to bring samples of other things that can be made using repurposed/recycled items. There is a lot of good materials out there waiting, and beautiful things to be made. It it art or craft? I leave that to you. But making it, and seeing it, is fun. http://www.sftravel.com/article/event-calendar/?entry=ataglance#/event/6257068-make-a-love-bead-safe-harbor-pin?radius_miles=25&location=94112-san-francisco&sections=all&date=2017-06-03

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