IdeaJones

Tag: writer life

  • A Dog’s Guide To Humans: Sleep

    A Dog’s Guide To Humans: Sleep

    Humans are always tired.

    As with so many things, humans have a strange relationship with their own bodies (just wait until I get to humans and elimination. Oh my dog, that’s a whole subject in itself).  They are so uncomfortable in their own skins that they do things to themselves that can only be described as straight-up freaky. One of the things they really can’t figure out is sleeping.

    How, when, where or with whom, humans can screw all of that up beyond any dog’s ability to understand, but I’ll do my best to explain it.

    • Humans don’t understand sleep.

    I mean, quite literally, they don’t grasp the concept. Not really. They seem to do all right as puppies, but once they can walk unassisted, they start experimenting with it.  Their puppies, called “babies,” are the most sensible stage of their development. They eat when they’re hungry (well, they demand food), poop when they need to, and sleep when they’re tired, unless someone or something prevents them. Yes, you read that right — adults try to manipulate their puppies so they sleep not when they’re tired, but when it is most convenient for other adults. This isn’t surprising when you realize that this is what the adults do to themselves and to each other.

    They have a schedule that is baffling. They wake up, usually after not getting enough sleep, so they’re cranky and clumsy. By ingesting the runoff of water in which various plants have been dredged, they open their eyes, at least somewhat, and begin to communicate. Prior to drinking the runoff, they communicate mostly in grunts and gestures. After, they communicate in sharp, harried barks and run around grabbing things and  putting them into other things, usually some sort of bag or box, and complaining that they are now late.

    Laugh if you will — this is how they start most of their days.

    They spend their days in a variety of behaviors, most of which seem to have little practical value, but do keep them occupied and, for the most part, out of trouble. During the afternoon, when their energy dips, they do not rest. Instead, they ingest more runoff so they can keep doing whatever it is they’re doing.

    Then they come home and do more things, not very effectively, because they’re tired. When they get tired enough, they slump on the supplementary dog bed (aka “sofa”) and stare at boxes with emit light and sound, which helps keep them awake. Sometimes these are thin, small boxes they can hold in their hands. Other times they are very large boxes.

    Eventually, long after they should be asleep, they will topple over and sleep in front of the glowing boxes, still resisting the urge to go to their comfortable beds to sleep. Eventually, many of them do rouse somewhat and stagger to their beds, but some stay in front of the glowing boxes so they can wake in the morning and complain about the parts of their bodies that hurt.

    • Humans don’t trust sleep.

    You might have read that more than once only to discover that it still makes no sense.  This is because it makes no sense.

    Humans dislike sleep. They brag about how little they get. They pretend they don’t need it. They talk about “snatching” or “grabbing” it. Where any sensible dog will tell you that if you’re tired it’s time to sleep, humans avoid it as long as they can.

    Instead of viewing sleep as a necessary part of the healing process, humans treat it like an enemy who must be conquered. Even as they are staggering, bleary-eyed and foggy-brained, they tell anyone who will listen that they “don’t need that much sleep.” It causes them untold health risks from accidents to heart attacks, but they take pride in their unwillingness to lie down and close their eyes as if simply being able to keep their eyes open long after their brains have stopped working were some sort of accomplishment.

    It is worth considering what marvels they could accomplish if only they weren’t so tired all of the time. And cranky. I’ve heard the phrase so often that the one word doesn’t sound right without the others. Tired and cranky.

    I doubt we’ll ever know what humanity could be if it only it got the occasional nap.

    I will write my next dispatch as soon as I can. Meanwhile, it’s time to go to bed. ~ Gingeroo

  • Creating While Distracted

    Gingeroo and Moby, a puppy & her (adopted) dad.

    We have a new family member, Gingeroo, who joined us almost two months ago. She’s an adorable little girl and before anyone asks, she is 100% Pure Yorgess… “your guess is as good as ours!”  She’s a mixed breed, some sort of hound/terrier mix. We’re thinking she’s part Basenji, as Abby was (always miss you, Princess Hound!).  Gingeroo does a lot of things Abby did, from trying to climb on everything (including people –we’re working on it) to holding things with her paws like a raccoon. She even has the Basenji speaking voice, which sounds, so Mark’s mom used to say, like something from The Exorcist (think someone talking in a very raspy, growly voice).

    Moby loves his little baby (she’s almost five months old now). He lets her take tennis balls, roll in the grass with him, even cuddle up to his tummy.  And when she gets out of control, he gently but firmly corrects her. She’s a spitfire, lots of energy and focus, but once she settles down, very sweet and cuddly.

    We’re trying to work with a puppy in the house, and for other reasons, it’s been pretty stressful here.  There are a few things we’ve figured out:

    * When it’s not normal times, don’t try to pretend it is. Acknowledge whatever challenges there are and plan accordingly. You don’t have to let things stop you — but if there’s a hill in your path, it doesn’t help to pretend there isn’t. Make plans to climb the hill.

    * If a situation isn’t likely to resolve itself quickly, adjust your expectations. A friend said, “If it’s a marathon, not a sprint, train for a marathon.” She went on to say that you have to get your rest, drink plenty of water, exercise, eat a healthy diet, all that stuff, just as if you were going to run an actual marathon. This may be the smartest advice we’ve gotten in years.

    * “If the straight path is blocked, get creative about going where you need to go. Other paths may still get you there.” Great advice from another friend. Right now, my schedule revolves around little Gingeroo, who is learning to go outside to potty, but has to go outside about every other hour. Plus, I don’t want her to think if she goes, that’s it, back in the house, fun’s over, so after she goes, we play for a while. This is seriously cutting into my productivity, but will pay off in the future. So I take her out to play, bring her in, get her settled with a toy, and get some work done until we do it all again in 90 minutes. Which means that if I’m not as productive as I’d like, at least I’m productive, so I don’t lose patience with her, and she’s getting really good about housetraining, since it’s a positive experience.

    We’ve had other times when life was challenging, sometimes very challenging, and it was frustrating, on top of what was going on, not to be getting anywhere creatively. Fortunately, now we know how to navigate the rough patches in the road until they smooth out, which brings me to the other best advice I ever got:

    “The universe doesn’t recognize stasis. Things can grow or decay quickly or slowly, but they can’t stay the same.” This was our doctor and once we really understood it, we realized it meant that change is part of the system. Enjoy the good and survive the bad knowing it won’t last forever.

    “Better is always coming. The trick is to hang on until it gets there.”  Mom, who lived through The Great Depression, told me that.

    Hope your good stretches are longer than your bad.

    Gingeroo and Moby enjoy the summer.